Dramatic exits in open-front gowns

Boobs are a weird thing.

There's a lot of cultural and gendered expectations inherently built into any decisions made about them. I didn't realize the full extent of this until I was shopping around for a breast surgeon. Pro-tip: there are lots of things to save money on: buy generic brands, make brown bag lunches, clip coupons. But when shopping around for a breast oncologist, don't be sniffing around for a deal. Get the most respected and tenured your insurance allows. Don't fuck around. 

My first stop for some recommendations was my gyno, who after my MRI was the first to suggest a mastectomy, and in her words, "get those things in a bucket." She's really charming, I promise. She directed me to a perfectly nice surgeon at Northwestern, who specializes in genetic clusterfucks/early detectors much like myself. 

My consult with said surgeon was odd from the outset. She didn't bother to look at any of the information and trees the genetic counselor had put together, but preferred the metric of my age. 

"I'm not really comfortable performing such a drastic procedure on such a young woman," to which my mind drifted into the best time to quote Aaliyah as a retort, "perhaps just wait and see for a few years, have some kids, and then we'll look into what we should do at that point." Not that I'm an ardent feminist, but these assumptions enraged me to an extent that I wasn't prepared for. 

I tried to very calmly explain that I was not in any position, nor did I have any interest to "have some kids and wait a few years," and perhaps I should get a second opinion with a doctor who wasn't still practicing in the mid 1950s. 

This statement was about as ballsy I've ever been to a doctor, and I was very much in a position to make an angry exit -- but it is very difficult to pull off an angry exit while wearing a gown that opens in front. Nonetheless, I swiftly put my coat on over the hospital gown, crammed my shirt in my bag, walked out of the exam room, and just kept walking. The receptionist called after me, but since I was already on a roll, I snapped back, "No co-pay!" and didn't stop until I hit the lobby.